According to a research by the Global Boyhood Initiative, 10% of global gender-related funding is allocated to programmes focused on boys and young men, with
the remaining over 90% funding directed towards female-focused initiatives. All over the world, especially in Southern Africa, there has been a strong push to support the girl child. Truly, years of inequality have denied girls access to education, healthcare, and leadership. Amongst other factors, the rise of the feminist movement over the years have shaped much of the society’s consciousness. Many international and local development programmes have been set up to empower girls & young women to reach their full potential. These efforts are necessary and must continue. But while we have lifted up girls, a couple of things suggest we have unintentionally left boys behind. In our fight for gender equality, the boy child is quietly becoming the forgotten child. First, it is important to celebrate the progress made for girls and young women.
In Eswatini for example, enrolment of girls in primary schools have improved significantly over the years. In some regions, girls are now even outperforming boys academically and in other social spheres, including taking up leadership positions that were once the privilege for men. A good number of organizations provide girls with school supplies and lifesaving dignity packs, mentorship, and free empowerment programmes. These are some of the practical steps to uplift the girl child. However, when we look at boys and young men, we find very few similar programmes, non-existent in some places. Boys are typically treated as low priority, expected to “figure it out on their own” and in some cases left to their own vices for emotional & mental guidance. We forget that boys also need emotional and mental, academic and empowering support, guidance, and care. Societal nuances all over the world expect boys to be tough, strong, and silent. Boys are told not to show emotions because doing so means weakness – the very foundation of toxic masculinity. As a result, boys often grow up feeling confused, unsupported, emotionally numb, and sometimes mentally stagnant.
The impact of under-supporting boys is already showing in our societal outcomes; school dropout rate and gangsterism are increasing among boys. More boys are leaving school early due to pressure to “be a man” and earn money, or due to poor performance at school, lack of mentorship and social support; worse still, some enter the prison system too early to rehabilitate and reform. This creates lifelong stigma and discrimination. Without guidance, some boys turn to drugs or alcohol or violence as a coping mechanism for frustration, poverty, or loneliness and some in fact plunge into depression and unalive themselves. By age 13, a promising life is lost – in families, in communities, and in society at large.
According to UNICEF, depression and suicide rates are rising among youths, especially boys. While girls may be more likely to attempt suicide, boys are more likely to die by suicide. Also, without learning respect, empathy, and emotional intelligence, many boys grow up not knowing how to treat women and girls, leading to an increase in gender-based violence. This reinforces cycles of abuse and inequality in the society. If we continue to ignore the boy child, we are planting the seeds of future problems: extreme gender inequality, broken homes, violent crimes, and lost generations of young men.
Some people erroneously believe that helping boys takes away from girls. No, this is untrue – the boy child is as important as the girl child, both gender pair up to form the nucleus of the society – the family. When we invest in boys, we also help girls and women, because boys will learn to respect them and not harm them. When we invest in boys, we also create functional homes, because boys will grow into responsible fathers and partners as well as positive role models for future generations. When we invest in boys, we build safe communities, because boys will become productive, and peaceful members of the society, thus resulting to reduced prison populations, medical and legal cost of care rising out of gender-based violence, gangsterism and other forms of violence.
A boy who has emotional intelligence, treats people with respect, and has a good self esteem is less likely to cause harm and may be empowered to confront perpetrators of violence. Real gender equality means lifting both gender, not just one. In Eswatini (formerly Swaziland), one organisation has been working quietly but powerfully to fill this gap: Kwakha Indvodza (KI), which means “Building a Man” in local Siswati language. KI is the first and only male-mentoring organisation in the country. Since 2012, KI have been helping boys and men become better versions of themselves by running mentorship programmes in schools and communities, holding workshops on fatherhood and manhood, organizing health campaigns focusing on HIV/AIDS, mental wellness, sexual responsibility, and transferring entrepreneurship and life-skills training to young people.
In the year 2020 alone, KI reached and engaged a total of 500,413 people across Eswatini. In 2024, KI reached 2,333 young men and boys through their gender norms and transformation programmes, and much more. These are not just numbers, they are lives transformed. Many young men who passed through KI’s programmes have gone on to become mentors themselves.
Despite the clear need and impact, programmes for boys remain massively underfunded. Again, this is not to say that funding girls is wrong, but funding only one gender is detrimental to the society in the long run. I am therefore calling for a balance, so that global efforts on gender equality will not be a waste where the inequalities are simply reversed – the boy child becomes the disadvataged, and then the inequality switching continues. I am of the opinion that things are getting to this point, and a change of approach is needed fast.
When boys are excluded, they grow resentful, confused, and reactive. They feel like outsiders in their own communities. They begin to believe that the world does not care about them. And if they believe that, why would they care about the world? They would channel their energy, anger, and frustration into destructive things. Kwakha Indvodza is ready to do more, the global change of approach to invest more in boys begins with you. Funding, resources, and partnerships are essential to reaching more boys and scaling up their life-changing work.
A donation will help organization like Kwakha Indvodza to train a mentor, run a school programme, offer counselling or mental health support, support a boy through life challenges or equip a future father with parenting skills. Let us not leave our boys behind, let us not leave our boys alone. The world has made great progress in supporting girls, the boys are crying for help now. Now is the time to level things up and balance the scale. Let us raise boys who are kind, respectful, responsible, and emotionally strong. Let us give them the tools they need to succeed – not just for themselves, but for their sisters, their future wives, their children, and their country.
Written by Bolu Michael-Biyi, Esq.
